A NATION TRIGGERED
Using Powerful Questions to Coach Ourselves to Bi-Partisanship
It’s
official: in the United States we have a new president. Along with it, lots of
questions … for me, mostly unanswered questions which bring about uncertainty, triggers
my past traumatic events, and my anxiety begins to flare up. I’ve have mostly
tried to ignore the coverage, but you almost have to have your head in the sand
to not hear some of what is going on.
But every
time something gets through my “no news for the moment” safeguards, I find
myself asking the same question, “What does this mean for kids in the foster
care system?” What does repealing the
Affordable Care Act mean for those who just aged out? What does it mean for
those covered by Medicaid?
I tell
myself not to worry, that everything will work out, but will it? I mean, for
the most vulnerable in the county, our children, things haven’t worked out for
them so far. They have already lost their bio parents, many have been abused or
neglected, and things so far have been downright difficult for them. Now, as an
advocate I am trying to convince myself to keep going, but how in these uncertain times?
I
heard President Obama’s last address wherein he asked us as citizens to get
involved and do something to make a difference. I, like many of you who read
this blog, have already heeded this call. We have stepped up in our communities
to try and raise awareness and be a voice for those who are silent. But, I now
find myself sitting at my desk asking if it is too little too late.
I
wonder who is speaking for the children who are trapped in this system, because of the system. Those who upon
turning 18 will be living below poverty. Most will become homeless or worse,
end up in jail. A large percentage will develop a substance abuse problem, or
become teen moms themselves. Who is
currently the voice of these children? These children are not a partisan issue
to be debated. These are children, who we, as citizens, have promised to take
care of, and yet each day it seems we are turning our backs.
Then
I paused. In fact, I paused in the middle of writing this blog. Was this even
what I wanted to say? I tucked it away for a few days, and reflected. Then a
sudden realization … I am not doing the one thing that I ask rooms full of
people during training to do. I am not asking a powerful question and I feel
completely disempowered.
People
recovering from trauma often feel very disempowered or victimized. A feeling I
am relating to very much currently. However, one of the quickest ways for us to
begin to empower people is to ask powerful questions and then allow them to
dictate their own path of healing. It is
true that almost everything in the news currently is a statement; there are
very few questions and even fewer powerful questions.
I admit
it: I am frustrated. I am sick. I am angry, and I am looking for ways in which to
carry on in these uncertain times. The
only way I know how to do that is through empowerment. So I ask you, regardless
of your political viewpoint, where, as a Nation, do we go from here? How do we
continue to protect our children, the most vulnerable?
Shenandoah Chefalo is a
former foster youth, and advocate. She is the author of the memoir, Garbage Bag
Suitcase, and co-founder of Good Harbor Institute an organization focused on translating
evidence based research on trauma into skills that can be used immediately by
individuals and organizations. You can learn more about her and her work at www.garbagebagsuitcase.com or www.goodharborinst.com