Creating Good Harbors
A journey of unknowns
There
are less than 60 days left in 2016, and soon another year will descend. I
always feel reflective this time of year: looking back at my intentions for the
year, relishing in the goals that I accomplished, reexamining the ones that I
missed, wondering if there is time to cram in and complete another one before
the end of the year (dieting at the holidays … no thanks).
But this
year has been one of accomplishment for me. After four long years of sitting on
my “to do” list I finally finished and published my first book, Garbage Bag Suitcase. When I originally
convinced myself to actually finish the book two years into the process, I had
one simple goal: Change one person’s life
for the positive. That was it. But,
as publication loomed closer, I began to have doubts. I worried that the book
would be misunderstood, that others wouldn’t relate to it, that I would be
judged, that I had shared too much, or even worse — that no one would read it.
The night
before its release, I remember lying awake in my bed, excited and petrified. It
was completely out of my control. During
the book release and in the eight months since the book came out, I’ve pinched
myself every morning. I can’t believe I was chosen for this amazing journey.
Every day I
receive emails from individuals affected by the book in positive ways:
- · a social worker who was considering leaving her job, but read the book and realized that if she left she would just be one more person on a long list leaving “her” children behind;
- · a former foster who found solace in knowing they weren’t alone and decided to reach out for help before ending their life;
- · a foster parent convinced that they should give up their license, finding new insights and understanding to the complex issues facing the children in their home.
I
asked for one email; I received 100s. Then … something else started to happen.
While
out promoting the book, I found myself spending a tremendous amount of time
educating and talking about the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study and its
findings with average, everyday people. I was watching light bulbs go off and I
knew that others were just as intrigued as I was. I developed a short workshop
from the information, and again, more light bulbs.
It
was fantastic and wonderful, but under it was a hint that things weren’t quite
right. I suddenly starting hitting a wall and hearing lots of comments like “we
understand trauma,” and, “our workers are already trauma informed.” I was
excited by the idea that several agencies and groups might have already done
the work, but suspicious when I asked a follow-up question: “That’s great, what
are you doing differently?”
Blank
stares ensued. The organizations had spent lots of time listening to educational
material on trauma and its effects in webinars and in person, but that hadn’t
changed anything within their organizations. Meeting after meeting, I was
listening to folks who, with all good intentions, wanted to make changes within
the community, yet couldn’t figure out how to turn the information into
implementation and skills for the workers.
Complex
problems, even more complex organizations, lots of unintended consequences and
short-lived results were becoming increasingly the norm, and I wasn’t willing
to accept it. I remember exactly where I was when I realized something BIG had
to change: another meeting, a conference
room with about 10 people in attendance — all of whom hold more degrees and
education than I do. The discussion was focused on becoming a “trauma-informed
community.” Lots of great conversation — it always was. And then I asked, “What
are we going to DO? What are our action steps?”
There
was silence, and then suddenly the conversation moved on, as if the question had
never been asked. I knew in that moment that something had to change. Dr. Cathy
Fialon approached me afterward and we ended up having a lengthy conversation
about organizations needing skills that could be used immediately to translate
trauma information into trauma-informed care for implemented and sustained change.
Together
we developed a trauma-informed model that addresses the needs of organizations
and can be used immediately for change. Traveling the country, we are always
surprised by the positive response of our work, and how groups finally feel
that there is something for them to DO when it comes to understanding trauma.
For
me, as I reflect and get ready to begin thinking about my 2017 goals, I am
giddy. I NEVER thought that this crazy idea of writing a book would allow me to
meet and talk with so many wonderful people. I never thought it would move
people to share their stories with me. I never thought that I would have the
privilege to partner with someone with a PhD, to deliver educational content
that could immediately change the lives of children effected by adversity, and
I surely never thought that people would care about what I had to say.
With
that, I can’t wait to write out my 2017 goals, because I know that I will meet
some of them, I will fail on others, but more importantly my world will be
opened by opportunities and chances I never could have dreamed of. As Martin
Luther King, Jr. once said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just
take the first step.”
Shenandoah Chefalo is a
former foster youth, and advocate. She is the author of the memoir, Garbage Bag
Suitcase, and co-founder of Good Harbor Institute an organization focused on
ensuring sustainable, implemented trauma care within organizations and
individuals. You can learn more about her and her work at www.garbagebagsuitcase.com or www.goodharborinst.com
